The Questions and Questions of Life

Questions of fate, faith, destiny, choice, solemate, timing, and the meaning of life are among the ones that I never seem to be able to answer. How much of life is predetermined? What is my purpose? To be honest, I think these issues may simply be self-made in order to create a belief that life is something more than the basic animalistic birth-reproduction-death cycle. We need to feel that we live somewhere in between God and the wildlife but yet I can't help but keep wondering. I have a problem thinking that I had no part in the happiness in my life that I now have and that I can't do anything about my unhappiness. Of course, we cannot be in complete control of everything, but that's why we have God. By communicating with the higher power, we can at least have that power to maybe help influence the outcome. Even with these thoughts, however, I still feel the need to accomplish something through the choices I make. As to how, I'm not sure, I keep getting caught up in the questioning. I have a hard time believing that there is a map of our life layed out somewhere, and that map cannot be adjusted, adapted, or changed whatsoever.

Fight in Flight: Fight or Flight?

The desire or need to travel on an airplane must be stronger than it ever was. I'd be preaching to the choir if I am to express my dislike with taking it to the air these days. My flying experience has been both good and bad, but after both flights on my most recent roundtrip got me worshiping every bit of free space around me, I began to wonder just how much our little bit of temporary real estate was worth. I may be coming off harsh, but should someone who is, say 6'2", 230lbs be able to purchase the same ticket for the same price as a petite woman whose eye level lies an inch above her steering wheel after filling up on half an extra value meal? I know it'd be more than offensive if ticket prices were related to a person's size, but as I sat there with my poorly cushioned ass in pain with a foreign leg and arm over my armrest and nowhere to move, I began wishing that each square centimeter had a price tag attached to it. Perhaps some who go too far, literally, should be required to pay an extra fee - heck, overweight luggage requires an extra fee because of safety so why not passengers? I know most times they can't help it, but since when was invasion justified and not an act of war? If I have to cross my arms and plaster myself against the wall as best as I can for five hours, aren't I not getting what I paid for? If I can't have my own arm spend time near my armrestville border without hitting enemy forces, then maybe I should get a discount or something. Even with the occasional beverage cart rounds, I still have to mentally focus myself to stay calm during the turmoil at the border. Is this a fight worth sticking out or should I do my best to either avoid the right turn into Coach upon entrance or even steer clear of the jetway entirely? First Class gets what they pay for but I was hoping Economy would still be above steerage. When we're only armed with a pillow and blanket in the fight for territory, it sure is hard to fly the friendly skies.

Fuck Haoles: The Syndrome

There is an unquestioned point of view that is shared amongst many of those living in Hawaii - that mainland caucasians, or "haoles," are disliked for reasons stemming anywhere from appearance, lack of understanding of the local Hawaii culture, or simply from the way they go about their daily lives. Besides the native Hawaiians who believe they were unfairly treated by these Americans' ancestors, I find that this common outlook to be rather close-minded, unfortunately.

For a state driven by the success of its tourism, I find it ironic that so many of its residents dislike their visitors. The abundant Asian tourist population may escape with a mild snicker or a rude comment, however, the white tourist would quite possibly receive either, "fucking haole" or "stupid haole." Why is this? I unfortunately don't have an answer for this, but I would guess it would have something to do with either the conflicts between cultures, or that perhaps many of the locals on the world's most isolated islands just aren't cultured enough. Those fortunate to have experienced life at any level elsewhere seem to have a better understanding that there is much more of a world beyond the tropical beaches.

Of course, I am generalizing somewhat but I am in no way saying that there aren't those out there who haven't been "out there" who aren't so small-minded. There are many. What bothers me are the instances such as being asked, "Why would you want to go to school on the mainland? Everything you need is here." True, it can be said that everything you've experienced up to that point is everything, but what I wonder is how can someone grow up literally on an island, and not feel that the rest of the world has something to offer them? And to be quick at saying something like "fucking haole" on top of that, I just see it as arrogance from ignorance - oddly what we Americans generally suffer from.

The worst part of this syndrome, I feel, is that many locals' bosses at work are "stupid haoles." I hear this quite a bit. Now let's face it, the face of Hawaii is changing rather rapidly. Just as has happened in other desirable cities, the locals end up moving out because they can't afford to live where they grew up. The booming construction of homes in Honolulu are listed at prices that the majority of locals cannot afford. Who's buying them? - foreigners and "fucking haoles." Liliha and Ewa Beach are being bought up by outsiders; it would be unwise to think that those areas will be the same for much longer. As one who has grown up in Hawaii, it is sad to see this happening all while many locals of my age end up choosing to not go to college, or to drop out and work a low end, entry-level job which may be for a company managed or owned by a "fucking haole" who could afford to move into one of the new luxury condos. This, in the end, is an automatic submission to a higher power. "Fucking haole" ends up looking like an excuse, because while all this is happening right around them, they live as if they aren't helping the very thing they hate take place.

It's unfortunate that sometimes we have to adapt to change, especially when we're not ready for it or we simply are blind to it. I would hope that Hawaii's locals see that their world is changing whether they like it or not, and realize that they should do something positive about it. I would hate to go back to a home I don't recognize, all because some were too busy saying, "fucking haoles."